Tried to kick a dog�in its head

October 6, 2011: While in the town of Tacuarembo, I found myself trying to get lost � which is typically not hard for me to do. Coming back off some dirt roads that lead out of the town, I notice some children playing soccer in front of a four walled structure they presumably call home. They stopped playing when I was passing them and just stared at me, following me with their eyes. Even in such a white country as Uruguay, I still seem to stand out. I smiled and said hello as I continued down the road � then it happened�

From the lower right hand corner of my eye I saw a dog coming towards me, being extra quiet�thinking that perhaps he wanted just a little sniff of my clothed sphincter or to maybe hump my leg some. When the dog noticed he was compromised, he reverted from stealth mode to attack mode. Coming at me faster, I thought that he was bluffing me. I started walking faster � suddenly confused about the basic rules of engagement with a dog, I just thought it was better not to look directly at him, using my extremely tooled peripheral vision and I continued moving forward.

He approached me quickly with a sharp set of heat seeking missiles that lined his mouth in a disorder fashion. He went doggy style and came up from behind, telling me something that I didn�t understand nor care to understand. The dog�s behavior showed me that he was obviously not interested in sniffing a grown man�s butts or humping a strange male.

The �flight mode� in me was no longer an option. Turning toward him, I give him a few air kicks to the head. My adrenaline spiked as his smiled at me showing of his pearly whites. The other dogs that were at the house next door were much larger and began to go crazy, beginning to sing as if they were members of a Baptist church choir.

My vision was not crystal clear due to the quick unexpected spike of adrenaline, but since I remembered the other dogs being tied up the first time I passed by when leaving the town, so I focused on my current situation.

After a few more football punter style air kicks, I am glad the dog eventually turned back and stopped following me, going to wherever he came from. I was actually happy today to not be prepared for a confrontation with a dog, rather than a person or persons with not the best intensions. It has been awhile since I was caught off guard. While coming off a substantially large adrenaline spike, I was a tad shaky and a bit dizzy.

Hindsight�I thought, �Why didn�t I have a rock in my pocket?� This is because when typically bad dogs see rocks, they have had prior experience with them being thrown at them, knowing that they hurt. This tactic has a 93.966666% success rate. I wonder if this was the true origin of pet rocks.

So I suppose it is time for me to start traveling with a pet�a pet rock.

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Uruguayan boys are all a bunch of crossdressers!

October 4, 2011: I have noticed that the boys in Uruguay seem to be taught to crossdress at a very young age � to be more precise�from my understanding, it starts the first day they go to school. The uniforms seem to be universal: A white doctor looking coat with a large loose bow around the neck � NOT a bow tie�but a bow.

How did this come about? As you are well aware�working women�s wardrobes have changed over the years, capitalizing on the behavior of men and their monkeylike behavior desiring to hump more than the common dog. Minimizing a large amount of needing material which resulted in shorter skirts and more ventilating tops�the large oversized loose feminine bow slowing worked its way out of the fashion industry for the modern day woman.

So what do you do with the surplus bows, which once represented the Woman�s Revolution? Well, for starters, you can use them for the holidays to pin or tape to some special present when giving dogs, horses, donkeys or even something like a bike or new Lexus.

Now�what do you do when you still have a surplus? It�s easy�you give some politician an untraceable �gift� and before you know it�it will become a required item for the public school systems uniform policy, recycling the never ending surplus while creating a country of crossdressers.

Even Polo, Banana Republic, Abercrombie & Fitch and other larger clothing companies have been scared to capitalize in this market without yet placing their brands on this stylish bow.

FYI: I so wanted you to see this bow, I had to take this photo in a child molester-like fashion from a park bench outside a mall. What I do for this blog at times amazes me.

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Tickity tickity tick tick tock�click

October 4, 2011: My backpack is ready to go. On Thursday morning, I will be leaving on a stretched bus as it takes me north, into the interior of Uruguay. To do what? I don�t quite yet know, though I would like to see where the cowboys and cowgirls live.

Perhaps in my free time, I will do a little research and see if the men in Uruguay lose their virginity with donkeys such as the young folk do in most other South America countries. I said I would stop my research many posts ago, but�I am curious only from a business standpoint. When my feminine donkey condom starts selling in stores throughout South America�it might be wise to also sell them in Uruguay.

In southern Uruguay, I have been continuing to do an enormous amount of people watching, going to almost every museum, park, McDonald�s and even a scantly clothed street functions while waiting to make an almost perfect entry in into Brazil. Since my Visa is limited with only a possibility to extend - not a guaranteed extension, I need to actually have somewhat of an imaginary trail when I cross the border.

With a rough plan on what I want to see, it looks like I will be exploring Brazil in a snake like fashion � meaning I will be going up, a little right, up, way left, up, way right, up, a little right and then way way way left. With all of these ups, rights and lefts�who knows�maybe I will get a little dizzy and find myself somewhere completely different.

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